


Heelies AU

by Tsami



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Gen, Happy, Humor, theres some harsh language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsami/pseuds/Tsami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the whole school becomes obsessed with Heelies, they also forget that makoto Naegi is not dead</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heelies AU

Mondo sighed as he rubbed the last of sleep out of his eye, resigned to another day of school.  
"complete fuckin' waste of my time" he murmured under his breath, like he did pretty much every day. He knew he could be out riding right now, or "talking to" someone who had been giving his gang some trouble. Or, he thought as he blushed a little, he could be working on his birthday present for his best friend, Ishimaru. He still had at least 3 more hours of carving to do before it was good enough to show anyone.. 

Really there were 1000 things he would rather be doing than going to school today. The only reason he even went anymore is for Ishimaru.  
"this fuckin nerd is gonna be the death of me, I swear"  
"Who, Oowada kun? Is someone from the chess club bothering you?" As if summoned, Ishimaru Kyotaka glided in.  
"Yeah, totally. Who the fuck is even the chess club anyways?"  
"I'll have you know, Mondo Oowada, that chess is helpful for increasing mental facilities, and looks very good on a transcript." Ishi sighed. He was used to the disagreements he and Mondo had about academic activities.  
"Yeah, maybe if you're a fuckin NERD. Come on, let's get class over with"

It wasn't until then that Mondo actually looked at Ishi, who was wearing his usual pristine uniform like he did every day. There was one difference today, however. Instead of his trademark knee high black boots; Ishimaru was instead wearing.... Black sneakers?  
"Hey, bro, what's with the shoes?" Mondo asked. He had never seen ishimaru wear any other shoes before. In fact, he didn't even know Ishi owned more than one pair of shoes.  
"Oh, these? Why they are the newest convenience to increase my efficiency!! Hagakure kun recently told me about them, they are from a brand called Heelies!! I assume Hagakure kun had just discovered them himself, for he could barely contain his joy in telling me!"

Jesus fucking christ. Mondo's hands went up to cover his face as he thought about how Hagakure was probably enjoying how he tricked the innocent ishimaru into not only buying, but wearing heelies in public. Mondo chose his words carefully so he wouldn’t hurt his bros feelings, but this had to stop before anyone else saw.  
"...Listen, bro... There's somethin' I gotta tell you..."  
"Tell me later, Oowada kun!! We are going to be late for Chemistry!!" 

And with that, Ishimaru took a couple of steps forward and proceeded to glide away on his brand new heelies, grinning from ear to ear and laughing boisterously.  
"wha, wait up!" Mondo sputtered. But it was too late. Ishi had sped down the hallway and swung around the corner before Mondo had even taken a step, every eye in the hallway (and some from classrooms) following him.  
"fuckin asshole" muttered Mondo. Whether he was talking about Ishimaru or Hagakure, was impossible to tell, but it was probably both. He knew he had to stop this before it went any further.  
\---------------------------------------------- --------

sandy hair obscured the view of Makoto Naegi, as it always does on the mornings. He yawned and stumbled into school, barely vertical, let alone awake. He’d stayed up way too late last night finishing his History essay, but it was necessary. Grades are important; he thought. And he could probably survive the day.

Suddenly he heard sounds of a chase behind him, and he turned around to see (to absolutely nobody’s surprise) Ishimaru chasing Mondo.  
“Oowada! Slow down this instant!” Ishimaru shouted at his usual volume  
Mondo was moving surprisingly fast. And he seemed more graceful than any man that large should be.. Then Naegi noticed his shoes.  
“You are going over the school regulated heelies speed limit!! I must insist that you slow down before you kill somebody!!”  
“Like i’m gonna fucking kill anybody with shoes” Mondo looked behind him as he laughed, which is why he crashed flying into Naegi, causing both of them to topple to the floor.

“Mondo? MONDO!!” Ishimaru called frantically, catching up quickly because he was also wearing fucking heelies. “Are you okay?”  
Mondo sat up. “I’m fine, nerd.”  
“But-- Oh no. NAEGI”  
Naegi, being so exausted, hadn’t gotten up yet, and decided to accept his new life on the school floor.  
“YOU’VE KILLED HIM” Sobbed Ishimaru.

Naegi knew that Ishimaru had a tendency to catastrophize, but this was a little extreme. He decided to continue ignoring him, figuring that Mondo would end the joke.  
“I.. I didn’t mean to.. I didn’t think….” Mondo said, as if stunned.  
Naegi looked at him. Why was mondo going along with this? He was obviously not dead. He sat up, just to make sure that they actually knew this.  
“I told you.. I told you not to speed on those fashionable yet functionable shoes!! When will you learn that your actions have consequences!!!” Ishimaru continued, burying his face in his hands.  
“I can’t believe he’s dead.. and I killed him…”  
“guys. I’m not. dead. i’m right here.” Did the shoes drive them insane?  
“we’ll have to plan a funeral..” Mondo muttered

Naegi decided that they were just being stupid, and started gathering up his things that scattered when he fell. As hard as he tried to ignore them, however, their bickering (and ishimaru’s crying) was giving him a headache.

As the dumbnamic duo continued with funeral plans (“how are we going to break it to Komaru..) Kirigiri approached the fiasco.

“...Who did this. Who killed Makoto Naegi”  
She’d approached little too gracefully, now that Naegi thought about it. Fearfully, Naegi looked down. The heelies had got her too. 

Naegi stood up with a sigh. He did not have the energy for this today.  
“guys, this is hilarious and all, but lets let this joke die before it gets out of hand”

“Oh, i think its a little too late for that, Mr. Naegi” someone whispered in his ear with way too much breathy-ness. Turning around, Naegi had just enough time to see Hagakure wink at him before he heelied off behind the others. 

Fearfully, Naegi looked around. Every student in the hallway was wearing heelies. Even Sakura. even Yamada. Even fucking Togami. Was there some school memo he missed out on? Some sick, fucking joke that was being played on him? He decided to handle it gracefully

“Hey guys, where’s my pair? You all can’t leave me out on this party” he joked, but there was no response. His classmates continued their bickering.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week had passed, and Makoto Naegi was still dead. Even his teachers wouldnt look at him, wouldnt call on him in class. Luckily, they seemed to be grading his papers. 

Oh, also, the teachers were wearing fucking heelies.The fucking principal was wearing heelies. Naegi thought this was some kind of shoe-related group insanity. He had to constantly dodge in the hallways, because when someone ran into him they got up, looked confused, and heelied away. Sometimes they would mutter something like “nothing there” or “what the hell?” 

People that he had never met before pretended he didnt exist. Naegi started to wonder if he really was dead.

Until. 

Another murder occured. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Naegi?? You’re alive???” Aoi Asahina exclaimed upon seeing her classmate.  
“Yup, unless you ask literally anyone at school. then nope, and neither are you”

This time it had been Leon who had crashed into a student, “killing” them (To be fair though, he was being chased by mondo. Something about wrecking his bike). he had ran into Aoi so forcefully, due to the speed of his shoes, that he knocked her shoes entirely off (they had then been swept away in the sea of students, never to be found again). 

“that cant be..” Aoi stuttered. She turned to another student and tried to get their attention  
“Hellooooooo!!!! Can you hear me?? This is like, super important!!” the students only reply was to ignore her and pull a bag of donuts out of their locker. Aoi’s eyes lit up mischievously, and she reached over and snatched the bag. The student screamed “GHOOOOOOSTS” before they heelied the hell out of there. 

“You are a monster” Naegi decided as Aoi offered him a donut. He took it. As he chewed, he had a realization. 

“Come on, Aoi. We need to talk to someone about this. An expert” Naegi dodged his way down the hallway with determination, Aoi gracefully trotting along behind him. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hell no, Naegi. This guy never makes any sense!!” Aoi objected as they hovered outside the door of the abandoned classroom that Hagakure had taken over for his “business”. 

“I know, I know. But when this all started, he noticed me. I think he might be the only one not involved in this stupid prank”

“Prank Schmank!! You were dead!! Nobody could see you, like, i didn't know you were alive!!!!!!”

“Well whatever is going on, Hagakure knows what it is and probably how to handle it” Naegi insisted as he pushed his way inside the room.

 

He had set up a fog machine to create an eerie atmosphere, and replaced half the lights with gentle lavender ones. Clearly, the majority of his work was setting the stage.

“I knew you would come to me eventually” Hagakure chuckled, his finger under his nose. 

“You need to tell us whats going on” Naegi demanded. He was a little tired of being ignored.

“I bet you’re wondering how this will all play out, hm? Well, for a small fee of 1000000000000 Yen, I could easily help you with your problems”

“1000000000000 Yen?!?!?!!? What the FUCK Hagakure” Naegi exclaimed. There was no way that hagakures shitty advice was worth that much. “Honestly, I’d rather continue being dead. So thanks, but no thanks” 

“okay, okay. I’ll give you a freebie, because it’s your first time. Come over here, and look into my crystal ball. (it was owned by Genghis Khan you know)”

“Naegi, maybe we should just go..” Aoi said hesitantly “didnt like a lot of bad things happen to genghis khan”

“Lets just get this over with Aoi” Naegi sighed. Maybe this moron would actually be able to help them

 

“I forsee… great fortune…. in the form of shoes…. in your future….. “

“Shoes? Do you seriously expect me to get those dumbass shoes??? the heelies. please.”

“I see…. A rebirth…….”

Thats it. He was done. Naegi got up and walked out of the room that was suffocating him with fog and stupidity. He would find his own way out of this mess.

 

\-------------------------------------------

he didnt find his own way out of this mess

\--------------------------------------------

3-7 business days later, Naegi rolled up to school, fresh heelies on foot and in hand. He had purposefully gotten to school early (to avoid the hallway traffic) and he slid into his classroom.

He had to admit, these shoes were pretty fun; he thought as he put an extra pair on Aoi’s desk. Maybe Hagakure wasn’t such a moron after all. He smiled as he saw Mondo and Ishi zoom past the door, screaming. 

He smiled all the way up until he heard a loud crash echoing from the hallway that ended with a freshman getting her arm broken.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

As she watched the chaos around the students, medics rushing in, Kirigiri had to wonder why this had all begun. She turned to her companion in observing, Hiro Hagakure. 

“Why did you start all of this?” She asked. “Heelies, Naegi’s death, the whole thing. I can’t rationalize it”

Hagakure shrugged. “I own stock in heelies”

Coincidentally, Heelies surged in popularity once Junko’s fans had seen her wearing them, and the other students respective fanclubs also caught onto the trend, leading to a worldwide resurgance.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heelies are now banned at Hopes Peak Academy.

**Author's Note:**

> ok i did not edit this so rip me, its like 3am and i just wanted to finish this, shoutout to grace for the idea


End file.
